This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
