fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
