If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
