everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
