i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
