I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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