i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize