I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
