went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
