Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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