I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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