I heard we made out
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
