I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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