I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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