i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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