i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
