i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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