Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
