I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
