I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
