After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
