guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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