Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
