Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
