take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sobbing to NWA
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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