i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
