what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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