It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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