i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
