There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize