last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When are your genitals available?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
