What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
