Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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