You can't special order awesome
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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