Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
