Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
