Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
