Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
