I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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