Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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