Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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