Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
