Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
