I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
