I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Someone shit on the floor
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm getting married
To pizza
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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