he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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