so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
