fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
