We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
