Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
