when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
