if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Someone came in the potted fern
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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