have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
