i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize