Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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