Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Is it penis luge time yet?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
