Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
