Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
