there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
