Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
accomplished twins. life is a go
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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