well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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