Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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