i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
