remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
