Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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