Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.

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(305): View more from Florida

Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.

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(520): View more from Arizona

You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before

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(303): View more from Colorado

high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.

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(520): View more from Arizona

He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

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(714): View more from California

I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time

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(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.

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