i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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