I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
